Virginia Woolf

“Arrange whatever pieces come your way.”


Saturday 5 September

And why couldn’t I see or feel that all this time I was getting a little used up & riding on a flat tire? So I was, as it happened; & fell down in a faint at Charleston, in the middle of Q.’s birthday party: & then have lain about here, in that odd amphibious life of headache, for a fortnight. This has rammed a big hole in my 8 weeks which were to be stuffed so full. Never mind. Arrange whatever pieces come your way. Never be unseated by the shying of that undependable brute, life, hag ridden as she is by my own queer, difficult nervous system. Even at 43 I don’t know its workings, for I was saying to myself, all the summer, “I’m quite adamant now. I can go through a tussle of emotions peaceably that two years ago even, would have raked me raw.”

I have made a very quick & flourishing attack on To the Lighthouse, all the same—22 pages straight off in less than a fortnight. I am still crawling & easily enfeebled, but if I could once get up steam again, I believe I could spin it off with infinite relish. Think what a labour the first pages of Dalloway were! Each word distilled by a relentless clutch on my brain.

From ‘A Writer’s Diary: To The Lighthouse”

Quote image is of authentic signature of Virginia Woolf from one of her signed books.

Long distance relationships

As hard as it already is to keep together a relationship between two people from the same town, city, state or country, it is even harder to do when two people are from different continents. The reasons obvious – being physically separated by the masses of land and oceans. Emotionally, a long distance relationship is indubitably painful.

There is no coffee time together. No better half to smile upon or gaze at. No smile is returned. No hand to hold. No body to spoon and cuddle in bed. No lips to kiss. No one. Plain no one.

What there is – an image of the beautiful face of the one you love, in your head. What there is – a swelling fondness for a person so dear – but it is only left and felt in the lonely heart.

Even more daunting is when jealousy creeps and crawls in and extremely terrifying when trust becomes an issue.

The way long distance relationship works differs with the times.

In the past, when lovers are separated by distance, they keep in touch by exchanging intimate love letters to each other through the post. A love poem or two exchanged. A photograph or two are slipped in and enclosed in the envelope as well.

Each and every hand-written letter is sent out with such fondness that you even wished it was possible for you to enclose your physical heart.

Then, when one awaits a reply, a day would feel like a week, a week like a month, and a month like a year.

The reasons for the separation could be due to one furthering of one’s studies; or employment opportunities elsewhere; or the tragedy of being separated by war.

These days the separation is as tragic as war itself when one is a refugee seeking safety in far distance lands.

In the internet age, letter-writing is seen as an inconvenient option. Easier digitized methods of communicating of no need to mention here, make it easier to keep in touch.

But – the absence, the sense of loss, no coffee time, no better half to smile upon or gaze at, no smile returned, no hand to hold, no kiss and the burden of distance – is all the same.



The Search

My soul seeks for Truth as I reach out for the absolute hand of Solace,

But I am drifting away in the vastness of the universe,

And I find myself Still in search of my Place.



The Benevolent Stranger

It’s funny sometimes how real friends and real family can be the last people you need but they still wield themselves right in the thick of your mess, never requesting for your convoluted painful stories yet there to provide a certain amount of comfort and reassurance. The grandest of it all is when that same degree of comfort and assurance is provided by a stranger. And you begin to wonder Who is really responsible for the business of putting things in place in your daily affairs. How anyone deny the existence of God I can never understand!